Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Phillip's Screwdriver


My Uncle Phillip invented the Phillip's Screwdriver. He told me that the idea had come to him in Burma, while he was imprisoned in a prisoner of war camp and forced to whittle bamboo in order to fashion rudimentary cutlery.

After spending almost three months working on a set of finely engraved soup spoons, it occurred to him that what the world really needed was another kind of screwdriver, one that was slightly more complex that the classic straight variety and which would lead to entire generations of men (and later emancipated women) working themselves into a blind fury over being presented with one type of screwhead instead of another, whilst their mother-in-laws stood on and made that particular kind of tutting, hissing noise that they make when they're being proved right.

My Uncle Phillip was a divorced man and a perhaps the world's tallest simpleton.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

My auntie Anal-Douché invented something, I'm not sure what though.

11:07 AM  

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