Jam Tarts

I like jam tarts. Most people do, although it's probably fair to say that 96.5% of people can't remember the last time they had one. It's not something you tend to put on your shopping list between Vanish and Flora and above green dish sponges with the scrubby bit on the back. Jam tarts aren't a necessity, unless you're 82 and have a lot of grandchildren, and then you tend to make them yourself due to a pre-war ethic so their presence on a shopping list becomes entirely moot.

The temperature of the central part of a jam tart on exiting a standard fan oven is approximately 33,645ºc, something close to that of a small to middling star as it enters super nova status. The pastry surrounding this superheated core acts as a extremely effective insulating material, causing the presumptuous tart consumer to believe he is in no danger of deep tissue burns. Many lives have been lost due to this deception.